This post is both about long distance relationships and of course, long distance friendships!
I have to hand it to all those people out there going to distance and maintaining their relationships even though they’re are miles apart from their significant other. It’s tough. It’s really tough and as someone who’s just gone from long distance to no distance, I’m incredibly thankful that we managed to make it work despite the 281 miles that were between us.
Long distance sucks. There’s no two ways about it. It’s something that takes a lot of commitment, trust and dedication to stick it out and make it work.
I thought I would put down the few rules Matt and I had between us that made long distance pretty bareable in the end!
1) Plan, plan, plan – the worst thing about long distance is not knowing when the next time you get to see one another was. We made a rule really early on in our LDR that we wouldn’t leave eachother until we knew when the next time we saw one another was. It meant we were always on a countdown to see one another and aslong as we only left it for 2/3 weeks at a time, it would keep the relationship exciting. Everytime I was on my way to see him, I was buzzing.
2) Live your seperate lives – one thing that was really nice was that when we were apart it wasn’t like having an empty void in my life. We had our own friends, family, plans and hobbies and it meant that we could keep pretty busy inbetween seeing one another. What was even nicer was that when we were at each others end of the country I’d be invited out with his friends as he was with mine. It also meant that we had double the amount of places to go, see and do things in.
3) Be upfront and honest with communication – this was something that took a lot of work. We could go days without talking if we wanted but that often made me think that there was something wrong. It wasn’t the case – we were just super busy a lot of the time. The problem was we wouldn’t tell eachother that until one of us had sent a text like ‘are you alive?’ It got to a point where if Matt was on a night out he would text me saying ‘going out now, have a great night’ and I wouldn’t have to worry anymore.
4) Issues need a phonecall – we learnt this eventually. Arguments never worked over texts. You don’t have the luxury of being able to ignore someone for hours on end when they’re sat in front of you so conflict needs to happen in a way where you both get a say there and then. Everything else becomes petty or gets swept under the carpet. Neither of those are good solutions.
5) Act like its the first date all over again – when you only see eachother for 2 days every 3 weeks, you have to make the most of your time together. We tried our best to have a date night or date day atleast once a month. More if we could afford it! It just meant we were dedicating that little bit of time to one another and remembering exactly why your putting up with the 562 mile round trip.
Finally, I said I’d talk about long distance friendships. The rules don’t change, you just have to be that little more patient and just pick up where you left off last time. Great friends can do that no problem!
Positive of the day: 7 hours later, I’m almost in Liverpool! Southern rail, you haven’t defeated me yet!