I have never shared this blog. I had decided to start writing it when I had returned to work in an attempt to help me vent and find a positive in each of my days.
I hadn’t read the first two posts for months and reading it now, has really set the bar of how low I was feeling and how far I have come to reach this point in my life.
I feel it’s important that I try and continue this blog to give people some hope that things really do get better. I have been on anti-depressant tablets for 6 months now and will be reviews this coming Friday. I expect I’ll be taken off them all together.
My longest battle with depression has been won but in the words of Gandalf in Lord of The Rings – The Two Towers: ‘the battle is over, but the war is about to begin’. I have removed the part about Helms Deep and Middle Earth because it didn’t quite illustrate my point quite as I’d like it too.
I suppose there is always the fear that the depression will come back. I remember posting on an online support group a week ago after watching ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ (the saddest film ever) that it had triggered some very uncomfortably familiar feelings and I was scared the depression would come back. It didn’t – thankfully.
However, that is something people do not understand. Unfortunately, it always lurks and waits for the most inconvenient moment to rear it’s ugly head. A little like the dementors in Harry Potter – they are always ready to suck all the happiness out of you.
The positive thing is, I’ve battled it once and I know I can do it again. I am stronger than ever and have some of the best friends and family anyone could ask for who luckily totally ‘get it now’. My best friend text me and told me yesterday that she understands it so much more now than before and that really did mean the world.
I am going to continue this blog – probably as sparodically as the first four posts. I’m going to post some things on here that are a little back dated so I can share some of the positives I’ve achieved in the past 6 months. Please do read and don’t feel awkward about the first two posts or even guilty for not realising sooner because it’s taken me a whole 6 months for me to realise too!
Positive of the day: A Facebook friend was played on Radio 1 last night. It’s great seeing people succeed. Check them out here!